I feel.

I don't feel like I can handle this. I feel so many different things, it's hard to describe. I am trying so hard to stay positive and focused on other things but it is not working. I cannot imagine my life with my parents not together. I feel completely lost and heartbroken, like my world is over. I feel angry and just numb. I feel like I have absolutely nobody to talk to. Nobody understands the different things going on in my life right now. I honestly just want to crawl into bed, lay there all day and night, and cry. If I didn't have Tristan, that is exactly what I would be doing. I feel like everything is different. Everyone hates one another and I cannot handle that.
This is just about the most emo thing I have ever written. I just need some way of getting everything off my chest. My heart is broken.

Hello.

It drives me absolutely nuts that I never remember to update this thing. *sigh* I know 20 years from now I will be so mad at myself for not writing about everything. I'm going to try to be better at it, promise.

Well, everything is going pretty great here. Tristan and school are both a full time job so there is not really any time for anything else. I have become so OCD lately and it drives me nuts when my house is a mess. School is going grand. I am really enjoying the classes I am taking right now. I will be so relieved when I graduate though. I have to stay motivated which is hard.

Tristan is growing like a weed. He is such a cutie and I love spending everyday minute with him. He has such a personality and is stubborn!

I absolutely love being a Mommy!

William is possibly deploying late this year which is not shock but if we stay put with our plan then it will be his last deployment! YAY! I am so looking forward to moving back to Texas. Words can not express how excited I am. Although, we still have quite a bit to wait. I really don't want him to deploy especially now that we have Tristan. I think it will hurt me more seeing Tristan upset about his Daddy being gone. He adores his Daddy. It's hard to believe Tristan will be walking and talking by that time though. Where did the time go? My little baby is getting so big!! :(

I have decided to go home for the holidays but that's it. I want to come back here after that way I can keep Tristan in routine and not live out of a suitcase forever. I can't wait till summer! I know I jump around a lot but sorry. I am excited to take Tristan swimming for his first time! :) Well William will be home soon. Adios.

Is it February yet?

Everything has been going so well lately.
School is flying by and going great. We finally took some family picture and so far they are amazing. I can't wait to see the rest this weekend!!
I am very excited about our long trip home. Well I am a bit nervous about traveling with Tristan but I can't wait to see everyone.
I am sad about not seeing William for 6 weeks though :(
I really want to start scrap booking again but it's hard to get any time to do it...

let's begin, again.

I cannot even count how many times I have started and re-started a blog. I am guessing since it's a new year everyone has decided to start up a blog. Therefore, I figured I would start it back up, again.
I deleted my last one thinking I would use my journal I have here at the house. Ha!

Tristan has been growing so fast! I gave him some rice cereal today for the first time. He was a bit iffy about the spoon at first but then he got the hang of it and he absolutely LOVED it. I called my Mom on Skype so she could watch. I was glad she got to see.
He is such a character. I have enjoyed seeing his personality and I love him so much. I never imaged you could love someone so much. I love being able to spend my days with him. We laugh, play, and I just enjoy cuddling with him. He turned 4 months yesterday! I can't believe it :(
We are both going down to Texas next month for a visit. William will be gone to training so it's a great time for us. I am very excited but I know I will miss my love. He is currently in the field as I type and I miss him like crazy! :(
Everything else has been going great. A good friend of mine is getting married this weekend. I was planning on going until some things came up. I really hate that I am going to miss it. We used to be best friends for years. :(
School is going great. It's going by so fast. Thank goodness.

Yep, that's about it for today.